A question we are asked repeatedly is ‘what are the most important aspects to help me pass? Since we are all different shapes and sizes with some more blessed with female attributes than others, this can be difficult. Also, not everyone wants to ‘pass’ or to blend in as we prefer to say. However, for those particularly at the beginning of their crossdressing adventure, we thought a top 10 List would help one and all to maximize their feminine appearance would be helpful.
Depending on how you are built and how adept you are methods to enhance your femininity (like makeup), then you will place more or less emphasis on the tips but they are all important considerations when it comes to blending in.
1. Removing Obvious Body Hair
Where to start? Face, legs, arms, hands and the list goes on for most. Hairy legs are a dead giveaway so either shave those legs and keep nicely moisturized or if that is not a possibility wear good quality opaque hosiery to block the hair and even blemishes and veins. We know many girls that undergo electrolysis for the face in particular but this is an expensive process and takes time. For most, a good close wet shave and good skin care are a must together with the appropriate cover using good makeup. Other considerations are hands and arms where for some there is an abundance of natural hair. Of course long sleeves are a great ally, but for hands try to rid yourself of hair and keep finger nails looking clean and healthy even in a short state. Eyebrows need to be trained but gradually so that your male self is not called upon to explain the sudden lack of brows to family and friends. If you are not adept at using tweezers for plucking then seek out a professional to thin and shape the brows over time.
If you can’t afford a session with a makeup artist used to working with CD’s, then checkout the many clips on YouTube to help cultivate a look or looks you are happy with. When starting out, don’t get frustrated as it’s all about practice and takes most girls years to be able to put on their face in a convincing way. Eyes and lips are very important so spend time practicing just those facets until you get it right and make it fun and relaxing when you practice. Particularly for novices, think ‘less is more’ when it comes to application and you won’t go too wrong.
3. Voice & Speech Is An Art
Arguably the hardest part of blending for most is the voice. For those who try we normally start by talking in our upper register. But there are so many more differences to a lady’s voice from that of a male. For example, general phrasing and even the day to day language and delivery. Don’t get tied up just with talking in a higher voice as without the other subtle female nuances it can and will seem false. There are specialist speech therapists that deal in this area, but if you cannot get to one then there are online resources and CDs and DVDs to help you. If money is a factor then you can start by studying a female friend or even a favorite actress and try to mimic their speech patterns.
This is another area where you can only do so much depending on your natural body size and shape, but the secret is to get the basics right. If your ideal female shape is an hourglass, then what must you do to develop an approximation of this? For most males we lack the hip measurement and our shoulders are usually considerably wider and for those of us unlucky enough our waist is a little too thick. Try to narrow the waist so it is less than the hip and the bust measurement – we are not looking for perfection here just an approximation. If needed use a steel-boned corset to draw in the waist 3+ inches. If just a little smoothing is needed then use a simple girdle or rubber shaper/cincher to take maybe an inch off.
Falsies or breast forms will help fill the top portion of the hourglass whilst at the same time softening the look of the male shoulders. To start, you may want to just stuff a bra to find the right size and whilst some girls do like very large breast forms, just remember if trying to pass as a female, opt for a more proportional size for your size and shape rather than a huge pair. For hips, use padded panties or just add your own foam padding to the inside of your pantyhose or a girdle so they are held securely in place.
5. Posture and Deportment
If you study females who dress elegantly or even look at older movies on a channel like Turned Classics, you will see how differently they stand, sit and move to the males. An elegant female dresses in well-cut clothing and heels, and will stand upright with their chest pushed slightly out. There is an effortless grace to their movements. Whilst not as common these days, if you look there are still plenty of women who are feminine in their appearance. Whilst it may seem extreme, try to study such ladies and emulate their posture and deportment including how they drink and eat. There are some self-help devices like a traditional corset. As well as shaping the waist it also makes your posture much more upright rather than the modern-day slouch that many of us develop. People-watch or watch movies and study the female form and you will pick up many tips on improving your own female posture and deportment.
6. Dress To Impress
If you are trying to blend-in/pass, be conscious of how old you look and how ladies your age will dress. If you are a 50 year-old male and like to wear mini-skirts and tight low cut tops then the chances are unless you are blessed with incredible genes you will not blend well if out afternoon shopping at the local mall. There is nothing wrong with dressing ‘young’ – it’s a lot of fun, but just be aware of the restrictions if you do want to be authentic. Develop your own sense of style by trying different colors and cuts of materials, study fashion magazines for age-appropriate stylish looks and look for garments that will make you look more feminine. If you have a bit of a pot-belly then perhaps think of a dress with an ’empire waist’ which lifts the waistline above the thick part of your waist to emphasize a waist but then the dress flares out to hide the belly and create an illusion of hips. Broad shoulders? Try finding a deep v-neck cut top or dress to draw focus to the cleavage/bosom and away from the shoulder area. As with many things, try to keep it simple and age appropriate and you can’t go wrong.
This is a difficult one for most since our hands are considerably larger, and are ‘masculine’ looking with sausages for fingers rather than elegant fingers but there are some solutions. Of course, nail tips help and even gloves or long bell sleeves on a dress or top are good distractions. Above all, try to keep your everyday hands and nails in good shape. Even if your nails are short keep them well-manicured and clean and begin to moisturize your hands regularly to improve their appearance. Many males do this nowadays anyway and it’s not unusual for men to have clear nail polish applied – well-groomed hands and fingernails look much more attractive.
8. Master A Feminine Walk
If your objective is to ‘pass’, then do practice walking in heels as this is an area that is a big giveaway for many. Give yourself a chance though by first finding a pair of shoes that are comfortable. If a novice, then we recommend opting for a pair of 2 or 3-inch heels and even go for a wider ‘block heel’. Get the fit right and you can then practice cultivating a feminine, graceful walk. Take small steps – higher heeled shoes tend to make you do this naturally and so don’t fight against it and walk from heel to toe, i.e. naturally. When you have mastered simply walking the length of the room and back, start to think of your whole body when walking: stand tall with your chest slightly out and shoulders back and down in a relaxed position, and keep the legs close together (some say the calves should ‘kiss’ as you take steps). Look directly ahead with confidence and not down at the ground. Again, a little ‘people watching’ of ladies in heels at the local mall is both an informative and pleasurable way to spend 10 minutes of your hectic day.
9. Swish Your Natural Hair, Or Opt For A Wig
There’s nothing more authentic than having your own hair. If you are lucky enough to have long natural hair in your male guise then you are at a big advantage with your crossdressing. Most persons do have to rely on the use of wigs. Again, when attempting to blend, try to purchase good-quality hair pieces that have natural-looking cuts and colors. Cheap wigs tend not to be blended colors and so do not look as natural – they also dull easily and can tangle a lot if you are not careful. Spend a little more on a quality hair piece and you will not only look better but your investment will last much longer.
10. Confidence – Work It!
Confidence in the male and female guise is a very attractive quality. Try to exude confidence in your female self. We are not talking false confidence here that may come across as ‘showy’ or ‘arrogant’ but an inner confidence. If you dress well, have a pleasing feminine appearance, and have mastered your walk then you should be confident in the feminine ‘you’ that you’re projecting. Often the physical ‘tricks’ we use like good posture and deportment give us that confidence, and then it’s just a question of enjoying playing that part of you.
So for those ladies looking to blend in, take care of the basics and you will be on your way to passing when out and about. Take time to master each element, do your research and you will continue to learn a lot. Continue to practice all the elements that require work and you will only get better and more accomplished, making you feel more at ease and confident in your female self.
Image courtesy of Leland Bobbe