Stephanie’s CD/TG New Year’s Resolution for 2016
You guys remember Stephanie, don’t you? She was featured in our Sexy Legs Contest in November of last year, 2015. She was a real stand out with her sexy pic. Well, we wanted to hear more from this lovely, Stephanie. So, she wrote us an amazing article for our Crossdressing Tips Blog. Her article, “Stephanie’s New Year’s Resolution for 2016” is about how to make a reasonable resolution to yourself this year and, more importantly, how to make one that you can actually accomplish. She explains to all CD/TG women reading this, why they should make a resolution. Especially for both forms of themselves! This advice could help anyone advance a step closer to becoming exactly who they want to be a bit faster. Take it from the woman who wished she did this for herself years ago.
Stephanie’s New Year’s Resolution for 2016
By: Stephanie Anne Jeffries
Now that the holidays are safely over and we’ve all had time to settle back into daily life, you might find yourself wondering what the New Year will bring for your feminine self. You probably made a New Year’s Resolution, or a few, for your “default self”, right? Take this moment to consider making some resolutions for your CD / TV or transgendered side, too.
Look, I’m a girl whose seen decades of dabbling in transgenderism and crossdressing pass by – too many for my vanity to admit! In the past year or so, it feels like I’ve cranked my trans knob up to 11. But in retrospect, there’s so much I wish I’d have done and learned while I was younger. I could only imagine what things would be like now if I could have learned my last year’s lessons earlier in life.
Who says time travel isn’t possible? I can’t send what I’ve learned back in time to when I was younger. …but I can offer it to anyone who’s any age I’ve already been.
So, in the form of 10 New Year’s Resolutions, here’s how you can benefit from my would-be time travel, from a girl who wishes she’d been-there-and-done-that a lot earlier:
1. The most important one first: resolve to the best version of your feminine self that you reasonably can achieve in 2016. This isn’t as scary as it sounds. Re-read it. Notice that I advised “best”, not “perfect”. (More about that in a minute) Moreover, put your heart and mind firmly on “reasonably”. Daydreaming is fun for everyone, but it’s often impractical when you want to improve; daydreaming might actually hold you back. Look, you’re in charge of you. Seriously. Now, be fair to yourself, and take a reasonable look at what you can really, actually do in a year. For example, I had no expectation that I would win Glamour Boutique’s Sexy Legs contest, so I wasn’t disappointed when I didn’t win. But I entered with the reasonable expectation that I could get at least one vote (not counting my own!). When I did just that, I set another reasonable expectation that I could actually compete, and compete well. And when I accomplished that, too – I felt like a princess! So, pick just a few things to pursue this year, write them down, and look at what you’ve written, often. Writing them down makes them real, and besides, you’ll have the sweet satisfaction of putting a big check next to each one you achieve. But how do you achieve them? Read on.
2. Resolve to always keep practicing on being your best feminine self, as often as you are able. Even if it’s just to work on one thing at a time (i.e. winged eyeliner, or walking gracefully in heels), keep practicing. Constantly take small steps towards the few reasonable expectations you’ve set for yourself. After all, practice does NOT make perfect; perfect is eternally in an unhealthy marriage to Failure. Practice makes Best. So, when you stop trying to achieve perfection, you can instead focus on your best. That small changes will help you take the consistent little steps towards the best version of your feminine self – and ta-da, you just might achieve your reasonable goals way sooner than you could even dream.
3. Speaking of dreams, resolve to let your dreams just be dreams. You don’t have to make them come true. Instead, let them inspire and guide you. Enjoy them for what they are, and never let them disappoint you or rule you. You’re in charge of them, not the other way around! Hey, they might even guide you into becoming something you enjoy even more!
4. Resolve to always be learning. As the year goes on, it’s easy to remember what worked for you, but often, we try to forget the things that went wrong. But why? The lessons from what didn’t work can be equally or more valuable. Learn from all of your experiences, no matter how small. This simple twist of perspective will rip the teeth out of unhealthy things like guilt, disappointment, and failure – and turn all your experiences into valuable progress and improvements. And you’re not the only source of learning. The internet is bursting with shared experiences and free advice, from supportive sites like Glamour Boutique’s to connections and groups on social media like Facebook and Twitter; from oodles of how-to and advice on YouTube and blogs to ideas and inspiration on Pinterest and Instagram. Watch what others share, and consume a blog or video or article at least once a week.
5. Resolve to have idols, know their names – and tell them how they inspire you. Do you know that TG girl you look up to? The one who seems to do everything the way you wish you could? The one who you want to be just like? She would probably be blown away to know that you want to emulate her. Tell her what you’ve learned from her. Why? Because she was once where you are – and still might think she is. And more often than not, she would appreciate a compliment just as much as you would – and will probably also compliment you. Trust me, when I told my idols – girls with names like Stephanie, Kimberly, Heidi, Erica, Amanda, Kelly Catherine and others – why I think they’re amazing, they’ve blushed and gushed like schoolgirls. And I still never feel as high or humble as when one of my idols clicks “Like” on my photo or offers me a compliment. Also, opening up to people you admire will create great connections or even friendships. They can help you get to where they are in their life if you just ask for some guidance. Remember that.
6. Resolve to pay it back. When anyone compliments or encourages you, say thank you, no matter what. Moreover, don’t forget what they did for you – they took a moment of their time to give a little gift to you. Return the favor. When you see something noteworthy that they’ve done or expressed (especially if it’s something they’re unsure of), don’t delay giving them a positive compliment or some encouragement that you would appreciate receiving yourself.
7. Resolve to pay it forward. What’s better than paying something back? Paying it forward. After you’ve said thanks to someone and returned the favor, go do something randomly nice to someone else. When those two ladies pay it back – and then forward – and so on, you will have singlehandedly instigated a tsunami of femme awesome sauce. Since what goes around comes around – and you may also end up enjoying the fruits of what you started.
8. Resolve to respect your limits, but disrespect your fears. Setting your own limits is an expression of self-respect. Trust me, girl, if you’re reading this, you respect yourself enough to set healthy boundaries – like “I will not post stuff which I will later regret” or “tonight, I will only drink until applying mascara becomes difficult” or even “I cannot buy a pair of shoes unless I donate something I don’t wear anymore”. Limits can be very healthy, and you should be concerned if you push past them. But don’t confuse these concerns with fear. Handled wisely, your fears can be rocket-fuel for achieving your goals. For example, when I entered Glamour Boutique’s Sexy Legs contest, it was the scariest, most public thing I’ve ever done as Stephanie; but, one of my 2016 goals is to go out on my first-ever GNO. Going out with the girls will require me to go out in public (yikes, that scares the wits out of me) – but I’m not going to get to any GNO without learning how to handle my fear about being in public. So, I entered the contest, which allowed me to begin understanding how to be Stephanie in public. Handling that smaller fear propelled me towards a positive goal. (And when I reach my GNO goal, I will, in turn, be less fearful. And I promise to stay sober enough to retain my mascara skills).
9. Resolve to enjoy the little things. …like that slight hesitation when your lips stick together after you apply lip gloss. …like that soft bounce of your hair against your shoulders – or the tickle of your earrings against your neck – as you walk. …like the breeziness of a quick twirl when wearing a skirt. …like that giddy thrill when you first put on your wig, shoes, or cute outfit you’ve wanted for so long. …like the feminine way you must hold anything when your nails are done. …like hearing that crisp click of your own stiletto heels against the floor. Being a girl is a wellspring of delicious moments, and you’ve given every single one of these gifts to yourself. Enjoy them!
10. Resolve to be ready, when you’re ready. Pursue your reasonable expectations with consistency and passion, but on your own terms and your own time, not others’. Every straight cis-girl has thought (or said) “I’ll be ready in five minutes” – and the answer will be the same when you ask again 15 minutes from now. Ever wonder why? Darling, you’re like a delicious piece of fruit which, gets to choose when it’s ripe. And that applies to everything in life, not just when you’re ready to head out the door. Take your time, before someone else does.
Happy New Year, girls. Make it a great one!
Stephanie Anne Jeffries