Many of us who crossdress live somewhat of a double life. There is your male self and your femme self. Once you know that dressing is a part of who you are and something that you must do to be and feel like yourself, the question arises on who you should tell, if anyone at all. There is no right or wrong answer since everyone’s circumstances are different.
Being an online and retail store that services the CD and TG community, we have spoken to many fellow CD’s and TG’s that have been kind enough to share their experiences with us. We know that some are very private and do not share this part of their lives with anyone. For many, crossdressing still remains one of the last taboos in society and the possible revelation to work colleagues, family and friends can be too much of a risk.
Whether it be someone who only dresses when they are out of town on a business trip or someone who keeps a small stash of femme items in a gym locker or storage space, we know that keeping your crossdressing a secret is a big deal.
If you do have to lead 2 separate lives for your male self and your female self what precautions do you need to take in order to keep it a secret?
ONLINE SHOPPING: If you live in a small town or feel awkward shopping for ladies clothes in brick and mortar stores then specialist online stores are your solution. Just make sure you read their policies and find out:
- Do they ship in discreet boxes – you don’t want ‘Crossdressing Store’ on the return address!
- What business name shows up on your credit card statement – again, ‘Crossdressing Store’ may be an issue! Any Glamour Boutique purchase shows up on a statement simply as GB SERVICES – nice and nondescript
- Will they add your contact details to any email or mailing list – you don’t want catalogs coming to your home!
- Can they ship to an alternate address to the one your credit card is registered at?
PAYING FOR FEMALE ITEMS: Credit card statements can be a big giveaway to your shopping habits. Many crossdressers have separate credit cards just for their girl shopping and even different payment methods to conceal their tracks. The following are the most common payment methods clients use:
- GIFT CARDS: Unlike credit, debit or prepaid cards, the gift cards widely available have no name attached to them. Shopping for that perfect set of breast forms can be masked from prying eyes using a gift card.
- PAYPAL: E-commerce banking sites like Paypal are great options for covering your tracks with your naughty purchases
- MONEY ORDERS: A great option for staying under the radar. Simply walk into any post office and you can purchase a money order using cash with no trace back to you. Most online retailers accept MO’s.
- MONEY TRANSFERS: Services like Western Union let you transfer money. You can do such a transaction at many 7/11’s etc. and just need the cash to do it and the details of the business/person you are sending the payment too.
- CASH: Safe to do in person but not recommended for sending in the mail!
RECEIVING ONLINE PURCHASES: Another area of potential risk when shopping online is receiving your boxes of goodies. Shipping to your family home even if you think everyone will be out of the house is always a risk. What are the fail-safe methods for delivery:
- PO Boxes/UPS Store Mail Boxes mean you pay a monthly fee and can have your goodies shipped to a ‘safe’ address that you can choose to pick-up at your leisure
- UPS Depot. Any shipment by UPS can be addressed or directed to your closest UPS Customer Center/Depot (not a UPS Store). They will then hold the package for 5 business days free of charge and you can collect it in person with a government-issued ID as proof.
- Work Address/Friend’s Address. We have a lot of customers that have their purchases sent to work addresses and to friend’s addresses. Just make sure where you are sending your packages is safe and that no-one un-intended will open the contents.
- Hotels. Over 10% of all orders we ship go to hotels. We have many customers where the only time they order is when they are traveling with work and so feel safe only when away from home.
OTHER CONSIDERATIONS: If crossdressing is just an occasional lifestyle habit then it is easier to compartmentalize and stay on top of. However, if it is something that is a part of your ongoing life and you cannot afford to have others find out about the ‘other you’ then try to minimize the risk of disclosure. These are other areas we know many of our customers try to make as safe as possible?
- Storage. If having your girl’s stuff discovered at home will have bad consequences then don’t do it. Invest in a storage facility. Do not store in the trunk of a car as this is not safe and can damage certain items.
- Email and Browsing. Many girls will only use their personal cell phones for browsing and will have a separate girl email address for all such communication. Don’t risk browsing crossdressing sites on work or shared family PC and having someone take a look at browsing history.
- Phone. Be careful what you store on your phone and make sure it is password protected. Some girls even have a separate ‘girl phone’.
- Post-Dressing cleanse. Make sure after you have been dressed you make all physical markings of your dressing disappear. Cosmetics are usually the big ‘giveaway’. Make sure to check behind the ears, near the hairline and in the crease marks of the eyes. Make-up wipes are usually just the job here, followed by a good face wash.
Whilst there are plenty of ways to ‘hide your tracks’ with regards to crossdressing, honesty is still the best policy. However, after many years of listening to our clients own experiences we realize that for many, ‘coming out’ is not a possibility as they have too much to lose. If the guilt of having a secret lifestyle begins to weigh heavy on you then we would strongly recommend you seek professional counseling to help you navigate your own situation.
If you do need to keep your dressing private then make sure to take all precautions to be as discreet as possible. Use this list which we have built up from customer feedback to keep organized and to minimize exposure. For more advice check out our Crossdressing Tips blog.