Crossdressers are often faced with an unhealthy pattern of binging and purging. Many crossdressers at some point in their lives have experienced this vicious cycle. The cycle starts with the fear and stress of being caught, followed by guilt and self-loathing. Overwhelmed with these feelings, they impulsively throw out all of their feminine items with the promise of never doing it again. Eventually the urge and need to crossdress comes back stronger than ever and they binge buy all they can. This cyclical pattern can seem endless which is why we are here to give you advice on how to stop binging and purging.
Why crossdressers binge and purge
There are a lot of reasons why someone might start to engage in repetitive binge and purge behavior. People cross dress to explore their feminine side, it also can be a form of anxiety and stress relief. When you start exploring this side it may take time to achieve a healthy balance. The binge end of the cycle can feel exciting, even liberating when you are purchasing whatever you want. From panties, to wigs and makeup it is easy to overindulge and go a little overboard! Some might even experience a binging high, where you are dressing all of the time to fulfill an urge. The binging high and reckless behavior that usually follows will balance out. Sometimes for a few weeks, months or even years. The binge phase usually starts fast, but it tails off slowly. The shame and guilt slowly takes over and leads to the purging stage of the cycle.
The purge phase slowly takes over, and it is usually due to a feeling of guilt and emptiness. Crossdressers that purge often have deep rooted shame when dressing as it is largely unaccepted by society. Keeping this huge secret from loved ones can bear a heavy burden and make you act impulsively. When these feelings become too much, someone in this situation often vows to stop this behavior all together to become a ‘real man’. The man society intended them to be. With the decision to never dress again comes the act of purging, or throwing away any trace of femininity you once had. At first, getting rid of your feminine half might feel freeing, almost like a sense of relief. But don’t let it fool you this sense of relief is fleeting, and the urge to dress will come back. Trying to push this feeling down usually doesn’t work. Sooner rather than later you might find yourself beginning to buy again. Thus, the cycle repeats itself.
Strategies to stop the vicious cycle
We are going to give you some tips on how to break the crossdresser binge and purge cycle. Crossdressers engage in this behavior when they start to feel an urge to dress, they indulge in the behavior, and then feel guilty in doing so, causing them to try and stop themselves from doing it again. The urge to crossdress is unlikely to go away, your feminine side is just a part of who you are. Stopping the cycle is not impossible, but it begins with acceptance. Self-acceptance is not an easy thing to achieve, but it will lead you to a place of peace with your feminized self. When you are at peace with yourself the feelings of loneliness, shame, guilt will become manageable enough to not purge. Therapy can be a great place to learn self-acceptance, if this is something you want to explore be sure to find someone who is LGBTQ friendly. If you are in NJ or NY let us know as we can make recommendations. Being in any one of these phases can feel incredibly lonely, it is important to know that you are not alone in what you are going through. Support groups can help you find other people who are going through the same experience, and can give you a safe space to express yourself freely without being judged.
If you’ve been indulging in binge and purge behavior for an extended period of time, it’s important to come to terms with who you are. Ending the cycle begins with acceptance. Dress when you feel the need to but be sure to find a balance because the cycle feeds off of extremes. Going to therapy or attending support groups can help you find peace with your feminine self. Your feminine self is a part of who you are, embrace it and wear what you want, when you want, where you want!
Have you experienced the crossdresser binge and purge cycle? Do you have any advice on how to achieve self-acceptance? We’d love to know what you think! Email us at [email protected] or message us on our Facebook page. And be sure to check out more great tips and articles on our blog!