When first starting out, new crossdressers sometimes concentrate only on their look and not their overall presentation. Even if you look like a million dollars, there are many mistakes you can make with your body language that can be a dead giveaway to your genetic male self. By making simple adjustments, your transformation will look and feel more real and help you grow in confidence.
Over the years we have seen these mistakes up close and are often asked questions regarding body language when out. We’ve compiled a short list of some of the most common mistakes to help give you a leg up.
Walking – Men and women walk differently. Where men often take large steps with their legs further apart and the heel touching down first. These larger strides often tend to cause a man’s arms and shoulders to move with their steps. Women take shorter steps and keep their legs closer together. This causes less movement from side to side and more bobbing up and down. Next time you’re in a mall or somewhere where there are a good amount of women walking around, take a quick look at their movements and then when you go home practice what you saw. If you are a novice then choose a 2″ or 3″ set of heels so you can work without fear of falling over. You may not get it overnight, but it is essential to get these movements down pat over time to help with your overall presentation.
Sitting – Like walking, men and women sit differently. Most males sit with their legs spread apart or if they cross their legs it is with one leg where their foot is resting on their knee. Women sit with their legs either touching knee to knee or they will cross their legs at the ankles, with their legs still tightly together. They will also cross their legs with one leg resting on the knee of the other leg (see photo above). If you were to walk into a room en femme and sat down with your legs spread open, aside from giving everyone a show of what’s up your skirt, you will be a dead giveaway.
While you”re sitting, make sure to keep your elbows in and try and make yourself appear smaller when sitting. Men tend to look larger when sitting with their legs spread as mentioned above and by sitting forward at their shoulders. Lastly, DON’T slouch when you are sitting to appear smaller as that is a male trait. Sit straight up with good posture.
Standing – Whether you are in heels or flats, your stance can be a dead giveaway to your genetic male self. Men tend to stand straight up with their legs evenly apart. It’s a stoic look that women do not do. A woman will stand in a curvy way where her hips and bust seem accentuated. They will put more weight on one leg to accomplish this hence the curvey look. This can transition into your sitting position as well. When you sit, you can distribute more weight to one side of the chair to appear curvier as well. Note also that most women keep their elbows close into the body, even when standing and walking.
Gestures – This is another common mistake and plays off of everything we discussed earlier. When men talk or are trying to express themselves, their hands and arms tend to be all over the place as men naturally use their bodies when they talk. Women make much smaller and slower gestures. Another big giveaway is fidgeting in your seat. Where women seem to sit still in most cases, men are more fidgety. So if you are sitting at a table, don’t start tapping your foot or hands. Also, don’t twirl your hair. Even though this is a nervous gesture that women tend to do, it’s not something you should do, especially if you are wearing a wig. Be sure to make eye contact to whoever you are talking to but don’t linger where it looks like you are just staring and making that person uncomfortable. A few seconds into someone’s eyes is enough to let them know you are paying attention and that you care about what they are saying. One last giveaway. Do not cross your arms when talking. Women do not cross their arms like men do, so keep your arms in front of you with your elbows tucked in while sitting.
One last tip that doesn’t need explaining but is a 100% must – smile. Always be sure to smile as it just helps give off a pleasant feel and makes everyone around you more comfortable. So make sure everyone sees those pearly whites!
Like I said earlier, your best bet is to go somewhere and observe women that are out and about. Just be casual as you do not want to draw attention to yourself where someone might think you’re being creepy. Once you’ve done this, try some of what you saw at home and remember, practice makes perfect. At the end of the day after observation and practice, you will have some great tools to work with so when you are out en femme you can carry yourself with confidence and be the woman you want to be.