Over the years, we here at Glamour Boutique have seen many changes in the CD community. One thing that seems to have not changed though are those who continue to stay uninformed about Crossdressing and who we truly are as people. We re-visit this subject frequently in the blog because it is an area where there is continued misunderstanding and so more education is needed.
We are often asked many of the same questions over and over again and we are continually debunking these myths to those who do not know or understand our community. It’s a conversation we often have in our offices, so we decided to get a list together of the most common myths about crossdressing.
The most common myths about the crossdressing community
- Crossdressers are gay
- Crossdressers are not good husbands and fathers
- Crossdressers are trying to trick people
- Crossdressers want to have a sex change
- Crossdressing is a mental illness
- Crossdressers are perverts
- Crossdressers act like women even when not dressed
- Crossdressing is a choice
- Crossdressing can be cured
Crossdressers Are Gay
This is probably the biggest misconception about crossdressers and the most asked question we receive when we have discussions with others. Plain and simple, the answer is NO. Not all crossdressers are gay. In fact, in our experience, it is a minority. To understand a little deeper, someone who cross dresses may like to dress to feel feminine or they may just like the way fabrics used for women almost exclusively, feels on their skin. That does not make someone gay. There are others out there that identify as Transgender, where they feel that they were born as the wrong gender. That is something different than a man who likes to wear women’s clothes to cross dress. A good number of the people that walk through our doors or shop on our website are straight. Many are married with children and have a totally regular home life. Which brings us to our next myth…
Crossdressers Are Not Good Husbands and Fathers
This one goes hand in hand with the above myth and the one that follows. There are those out there that believe if a man is crossdressing then he is hurting his family. Now in this situation, there are usually two ways this goes. Either the wife is aware of her husbands crossdressing and is supportive of it, or the husband decides to only dress when alone or on his own time when his family may be away or if he himself is out of town. Again this does not make him a bad husband. We have customers that are amazing husbands and fathers but choose to keep their crossdressing from their families for their own reasons.
Crossdressers Are Trying to Trick People
The need to dress has nothing to do with tricking people. For many of the crossdressers we speak to, they all felt a need or a calling to dress as it was something stirring inside of them. Now depending on their day to day life situations, they may choose to keep it from those closest to them. For those crossdressers that do not want to keep their dressing to themselves and decide to go out and about, they once again are not trying to trick those people they interact with while out. The main goal for many CDs is to look passable so they can spend their day as a woman for no other joy than the joy they feel inside and not for “tricking” others.
Crossdressers Want to Have A Sex Change
I know for many, identifying themselves in this day and age with so many terms out there, can be difficult. We could sit here all day defining what makes up a Crossdresser, Transgender, Binary, Cisgender, etc. A man who is strictly crossdressing has little or no desire to become a woman full time but does so because he wants to express and explore his feminine side. Some men crossdress underneath their male clothes only as they like the feel of stockings or wearing women’s panties or lingerie. Again, that does not make them want to become a woman through a sex change. Even the word Transgender has blurred the lines as it has become more of an umbrella term for the various stages of MtoF transformation than an identifying term of someone’s desire to become the opposite sex than the one they were born as. But to think that a man who dresses like a woman automatically wants to become one through reassignment surgery is a very backward way of thinking.
Crossdressing is a Mental Illness
Speaking of a backward way of thinking, in the old days, people would use mental illness for certain things they didn’t understand, such as a man dressing up as a woman. Sadly, many of these outdated ways of thinking have made it through the decades and are still around. While I feel we as a community have gained acceptance in some ways, there is still a large hurdle to overcome as many out there are not informed enough to understand the true meaning of crossdressing and its difference from all of the other terms it is lumped in with.
Crossdressers are Perverts
This myth is really the most damaging to crossdressers, as I am sure no one would want to have that kind of stigma attached to them, let alone a community that has to overcome so much to begin with. Listen, I am sure there are some perverts in the crossdressing community and could very well be the reason that they started to dress. But, the guy checking out your groceries at the supermarket could be a pervert and have nothing to do with crossdressing. Point being, you can not judge an entire group of people based off a few bad apples. Through television and media, crossdressers have had a stigma attached to them, portrayed many times as either prostitutes or some sort of low life character. In reality, there are crossdressers out there that are pillars in their community, mentors, doctors, therapists, volunteers and everything in between. Never judge a book by its cover.
Crossdressers act like women even when not dressed
Since many men who crossdress share a fear of being found out, they tend to make sure to act as traditionally masculine as they can. This really isn’t an issue with most men since they spend most of their time dressed as men and in turn, will act accordingly. You have to remember, most crossdressers are not transitioning to become a woman nor are they gay (see above), but are very much doing day to day “male” activities – a husband, father, football coach, co-worker, etc. where they are not going to be acting feminine in those situations. When the time to crossdress presents itself, it is then that these men will let out their feminine side.
Crossdressing is A Choice
This is another myth I think comes around due to people not being educated enough to understand this community. Now in some sense, it is a choice as someone who feels the call to dress and feel feminine can decide to put those feelings in a deep part of their mind and try to forget it exists. In that case, the call may get louder and louder over time until that person decides they cannot push those feelings aside any longer and eventually they will start to dress in some form or fashion. At the end of the day, it is not as much a choice as it is a part of that person’s being. They feel it inside and know that is who they truly are. That is not what I call a choice.
Crossdressing Can Be Cured
Cured from what? The crossdressers need for feeling the way they want to feel? Their need to be themselves? To cure someone of something means that they have a problem with health or otherwise. Crossdressing is not an illness, physically or mentally, as we’ve discussed. What I believe is that those out there who are still not understanding or educated enough about the crossdressing community as a whole, need to be cured of what is essentially bigotry and an old school mindset.
What myths have you had to debunk to others? We always love to hear your stories. Please let us know @ glambmarketing.com or on our Facebook Page.
For more articles and stories on all things crossdressing and transgender go to our Crossdressing Tips Blog.