Ever wondered what it would be like to spend your working days en femme? For many such a thought seems wishful thinking and even pure fantasy. Imagine, from day rise to sun set living a virtually full-time female life, even if for just a short period of time. Of course, with family considerations, secrets hidden from our life-partner and fear of being outed and ridiculed in the community keep such thoughts far away is the reality for most.
Some girls however, through circumstance, opportunity and immense bravery push the envelope and truly get to experience life as true to a full-time girl as you can. Michelle, a long-time friend of Glamour Boutique’s has experienced such delights this past year in her enlightened country, Australia. Michelle has kindly shared her journey and like me you will find it incredibly uplifting, compassionate and intelligent. Stories like this give us all hope for a better life and a better world for all.
“Any significant move out of my comfort zone is an exciting challenge. A new frontier in my femme journey beckoned in 2016 and a wonderful adventure unfolded. I enjoy sharing my experiences with the Glamour Boutique crowd of kindred spirits and I hope that you find something of interest as your CD adventures grow.
Some context. I do most things femme during the week but leave home and return as the husband my wife and my best friend wants me to be. Without my best friend, femme life can be lonely and outside interaction is terribly important and validating for me. Speaking though with a male voice is an immediate confirmation of what is probably blindingly obvious anyhow. Self acceptance as the ‘man in a dress’ still requires confidence that folk won’t run for the hills.
Frankly and encouragingly, the many times that I talk with folk, often initiated by them, proves to me that most people really don’t care. Whether because they perceive an honesty in not trying to hide being or simply not caring. It is empowering not to be afraid of participating fully and freely in the community – and overcomes any semblance of loneliness.
So back to 2016.
Australia conducts a population census every 5 years and employs temporary staff to do the field work. I applied in my legal male name for a supervisor’s position but wondered what it would be like to work as a female. TG folk are very fortunate in Australia to have some enlightened anti discriminatory laws and employers. The Australian Government as an employer is high on that list.
A bit scary and no turning back but working femme would be a wonderful opportunity for more time to dress, to have close interaction with lots of people in different environments and to deal with lots of different types of people and situations. It was decision time when contacted to arrange an interview. Encouraged by a sales assistant at one of my favorite women’s clothing shops, I emailed the interviewer about being transgendered and preferring to work female. It didn’t hurt to also sell my strengths for the position. I gave him a day to consider and then rang him. Long story short, no problem in attending the interview and working as Michelle.
The interview was great fun. Two delightful interviewers clearly understanding and accepting the value of diversity in the workforce. One perceptive question I was asked was whether I will legally change my name to Michelle. My response without further thought was as informative to me as it was to the panel, “not while ever my wife is alive and I don’t want to contemplate life without her”.
That was March 2016 with my (Michelle’s) engagement confirmed in April. The highlights over the 6 months of the contract were:
- Being one of a team of 8 area supervisors with training and follow up meetings
- Interviewing 25 applicants for my team of 8 field officers
- Melding my field officers into a high performing team – we achived one of the highest success rates in the State
- Conducting and attending training workshops
- Visiting hundreds of households
- Supervising and supporting my team
I remain friends with a number of members of both teams and regularly catch up for a coffee or lunch. Several of my team were stay at home mothers who wanted to return to the workforce but lacked the confidence. With my support and a reference, three have now successfully returned to part time work.
Yes, there were occasions that could have tested my confidence such as walking in 5 minutes late to the first supervisors meeting with all eyes on me. You just know that some such as the local fire chief are saying “what the … ?” People respond to outward confidence and accept difference so any thoughts remained just that.
It was such an awesome experience that I (Michelle) have successfully applied for another part time position working for an accounting firm. One regret I have is not being able to convert one position that pays the bills from my male to female persona. Safer not to challenge the status quo and look for other new and exciting opportunities that satisfy my femme needs.
Postscript – My wife knows about my dressing and over the last 4 ½ years has become increasingly comfortable but seeing me dressed let alone accompanying me is, in her words, crossing the line. That’s still a long long way from when in despair she said “can’t live with you, can’t live without you”.
So for those with wives that are not accepting; patience, love and understanding on both sides, but particularly by the CDer, can provide time to heal the hurt, resolve the fear of the unknown and provide space to grow. Knowing that discovery won’t be fatal to my marriage is fundamental to enjoying a fulfilling femme time.
A newsletter is not complete without some photos demonstrating the value of Glamour Boutique shaping that help change a 6 foot, 240 lb male to a presentable female.”