Some journeys begin with a single defining moment. For Nerissa, it began with a love for femininity that never faded. In this Eye Candy interview, she reflects on the people and experiences that helped shape her passion for fashion and the person she’s become!
Let’s start by telling everyone where you are from?
I’m from the province of Manitoba in Canada.
When did you first start dressing, and how did it come about?
There’s a photo of me at the age of two or less wearing my mum’s shoes that my dad took. So I started early, but my first real memory was when I was four, and I found a delicious pair of my mum’s red panties with black lace. I just knew I had to put them on and ran downstairs to the food pantry to step into my future life. As to why I needed to wear them, I only felt (in my 4-year-old mind) that I was compelled to, and they were so darn pretty. The whole experience is still vivid in my mind. From that day on, I started to wear her clothes bit by bit. I didn’t have any sisters.
How did you come up with your Femme name?
In my late teens, I knew a girl named Nerissa, and I deeply admired her femininity and look. She, among many others, served as an inspiration, but I felt the name Nerissa embodied the femininity I felt and wanted to express. Some people also call me Rissy, and some call me Rissy the Sissy.
How often do you dress?
I dress basically every day, as I try to live my life as a ‘woman’.
Are you married/in a relationship? If yes, are you able to share your female self with your partner?
I’m not in any sort of relationship at the present time. In the past, I’ve had several long-term relationships with girls such as myself and also the occasional straight-acting gay men.
Tell us what goes into getting the perfect photo?
Attention to the room you’re taking photos in is important, and I’ve been guilty of not doing that more than a few times. Get rid of clutter and objects that pull attention away from you. Lighting is of utmost importance. Experiment to find the right lighting that doesn’t wash you out and leave you undefined. Take many photos and try to exude the real you, so it comes out in your photos. Depending on what look and mood you’re after, being honest in your expressions really helps.
I take many photos and try different poses to end up with something I consider acceptable. A pro photographer once gave me some advice. One was to never shoot from below looking up (unless that’s what you really want). Another was when he asked me, “How do you look your best in your photos?” The answer? “Get rid of the pics that don’t show you at your best!” Lol.
It goes without saying that your hair, makeup, and outfit should be as perfect as you can make it.
What are some of your favorite outfits/fashions?
I love girly, flouncy, full-skirted dresses and skirts. I try, for the most part, to look like a cis woman, so I also have cute leggings and feminine tops to go with them. My clothing passion is definitely dresses! I never tire from the feeling I have while wearing one; they make me feel so feminine and in tune with who I really am. I am also a sucker for pretty lingerie; I love it all and can never get enough.
Stockings or pantyhose?
I prefer stockings or nylons as we used to call them. This goes back to growing up in the 50’s and 60’s when women and girls always wore them. I love pantyhose too as it’s so easy and looks great on the legs, but the pull of a garter holding up nylons is still a wonderful feeling, and stay-ups come in at a close second. I especially love to wear sheer black nylons, ecstasy!
Heels or flats?
I love heels, and who wouldn’t, but my rather wide feet and size make it difficult to find properly fitting shoes. I’m a men’s size 10.5, slightly wide despite my slight frame and short height (5.6). I do find lower heels or flats that I enjoy wearing and are easier on my feet. The truth is, by the time I was 10, I had become an expert in wearing my mum’s heels from putting them on so often, I could even run in them up and down the stairs.
Favorite places to go when dressed?
I live near a big park where I love to go and just hang out, walking about and talking to other people. Shopping malls are also my favourite place to go. If I’m out with friends, it might be a gay bar or a straight establishment where we can fit in with no problems. I basically love to go anywhere and enjoy movies, museums, events, and concerts, just as any cis woman would as they live their lives and go on dates. I truly enjoy going to the ballet, theatre, and concerts where I can be extremely girly with my outfits.
Go-to accessories for a night out?
Perhaps not quite an accessory, but perfume is de rigueur for me. A pretty necklace depending on the outfit and earrings are a must. I love hoops in all sizes. I also love dainty necklaces or ones that have tasteful character.
Who is/are your female role model(s) and why?
First and foremost, my mum! She was a beautiful girly girl who unknowingly taught me so much about femininity and clothing. From a young age, she liked to have me with her when she was dressing, and I observed in detail how she behaved, put on her clothes, and her makeup. I also have to say my grandmother as well. She was an exceptional woman who was a seamstress. As a young child, probably up to the age of 8, she often called me her beautiful little girl. Little did she know, but perhaps she saw the real me. She also taught me how to sew, which has been very helpful to me.
Later, I admired movie stars such as Elizabeth Taylor, Gina Lollobrigida and Sophia Loren and tried to emulate their looks. That certainly dates me, but they were gorgeous examples of the peak of femininity one could try to achieve. Of course, having their facial features wouldn’t have hurt either. All my life, I’ve come across women every day and imagined that I was them for a short while, getting to experience their lives.
Tell us some fun facts about yourself. What are your hobbies (either when dressed or not), likes, things you do in your spare time, or anything else you would like to share?
I’m a huge walker and go for long walks every day. I love archaeology and history. I also enjoy Rollerblading. I do a lot of reading as well, from fiction to fact. I truly enjoy sewing as well, as previously mentioned.
Any stories you would like to share about yourself and your journey?
It’s been a wild ride so far and one I wouldn’t trade for any other! As a budding teenager, I had a friend from school and also a close neighbor by the name of Lucy. Besides being the first girl my age that I explored kissing with, she was the only person who really saw the femininity and girl in me. Only with her did I let my guard down and express my love of dresses, lingerie, and wanting to be a girl. I trusted Lucy totally, and she never betrayed me. She literally shared everything with me about what it felt like to be a girl, whether it was growing breasts or having your period. Knowing her helped give me a “semblance” of a girlhood. Like many of us, the journey always seems to be in flux, readjusting as we go along. I always thought I was really just Trans and that I wanted to physically become a woman. Over time, I know that the desire is still there, but I’m also just happy being me, an effeminate gay transvestite trying to be one of the girls. I was also worried about the medical and surgical implications of sex reassignment. I know a few girls who were like me and went all the way to become as womanly as they possibly could; most are happy and have found a balance in life. I have the greatest respect for those who have transitioned completely, but it’s not absolutely necessary depending on your situation…
If you have social media, what is the best way for others to follow you?
I have a presence on Flickr where you can read all about me and explore my photos.
Before we go, would you like to send a message to your fellow girls out there or a closing statement?
Firstly, thank you to the great crew at Glamour Boutique for supporting us and providing a wonderful service for everyone living our lifestyle. Girls from my generation were really in the dark when it came to being able to fill our needs and desires. We were always on the fringe of society and coming to terms with our feelings was done mostly in secrecy and fear.
Girls today are incredibly lucky to have the awareness and support that have become available. Of course, not all countries are like that, and the recent moves to erase our rights, agency and services hit our community hard. Nonetheless, I think T girls are proud, relentless and tenacious human beings and we’ve survived for millennia, so we’re not going anywhere soon.
For the young boy who recognizes that he’s different than other males, who needs to be feminine, who explores his sexual orientation, whose quest is to be true to himself, let your desires become reality and be proud of who you are. Know that you are a link to an ancient part of human society that never fit cleanly into the existing cultures except perhaps for Indigenous peoples. Know that there are others like you, and we only grow in strength and recognition when we help each other and have each other’s backs. Also, be kind and compassionate. Sounds like a speech for Miss Universe, but it’s truly what I believe. I love our community and our supporters!
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