Meet our newest Eye Candy Girl—a vintage-loving vixen with a bold streak and a killer sense of style. From NYC roots to confident nights out in Germany, her story is one of transformation, courage, and sky-high heels. Intrigued? You should be. Keep reading!
Let’s start by telling everyone where you are from?
I am originally from New York City but have been living in Germany for several years.
When did you first start dressing and how did it come about?
The desire was always there, even as a small toddler. I was (and still am) fascinated by
women’s lacey things, particularly silky, vintage stockings with seams in the back. At about four
or five, I sometimes stole my mother’s silk stockings and tried to put them on before secretly
returning them to her drawer.
At about five or six years old, my older sister would dress me in her pretty party dresses, tights
included, which I would enjoy modeling around the house. Sometimes my mother would
comment that she always wanted a second daughter and she’d put lipstick on me. (whether or
not she was joking about a second daughter has never been revealed).
Once my father came home while I was completely dressed all girly. He yelled at my sister
and mother. In my parent’s generation anything non-conforming to one’s birth gender was a
disgrace. In retrospect my mother was unusually accepting for her generation.
After that I dressed only in secret, excepting for an occasional holiday like Halloween or a
costume party. I often found an excuse to dress as something female.
Decades later I told a girlfriend about how I liked to dress up. She was not just accepting, she
encouraged me to dress more often. She not only accepted the crossdressing, she encouraged
me to go out in public completely dressed as a woman. I was definitely frightened, and at first
refused. Spoiler Alert: We are still happily together.
About three years ago, we decided to visit Las Vegas for a vacation. She arrived a few days
earlier than I, and we met at our hotel. She had not only had purchased a complete sexy
wardrobe at various thrift stores – she had also hired a makeup artist to come to our room, just
do my hair and makeup. That was my first public (costume parties excluded) appearance
completely dressed feminine.
We went clubbing all night. I was scared, and nervous, but also excited. When we were
approached by men looking to flirt I felt much more comfortable dressed up. One or two asked if
they could come to our hotel with us, but we politely refused.
Somehow that sparked something in me, and it gave me a bit of self-confidence. When I
returned home (to Germany), I started purchasing women’s clothes, makeup and accessories
and began going out as a woman a bit more regularly.
To answer the question – I have been dressing in secret my entire life, but I have only been
dressing in public for less than three years.
In my earliest photos I am wearing either dark glasses or a partial mask do to the fear of
someone seeing me. Now – almost every photo shows my face.
How did you come up with your Femme name?
It’s really my name. I just happen to have a name (Merrill) that is gender neutral. So
you have to ask my parents how they came up with it.
How often do you dress?
I have to work in “male mode”, sometimes called “in Drab” (as opposed to Drag). I don’t
like to do things half-way, meaning I always try to do nails, makeup, eyelashes and hair
– so I usually only have time on weekends. I will sometimes even sleep in a sexy
nightgown or lingerie. I have however taken trips to other cities where I will spend 100%
of the time dressed feminine.
Are you married/in a relationship? If yes, are you able to share your female self with your partner?
I am with the same very accepting partner that hired the makeup artist. We have gone
out on dates “clubbing” together, but I now have a few other crossdressing friends and we sometimes go out together.
Tell us what goes into getting the perfect photo?
I don’t think I have ever made a perfect photo but I do have a few I really like. Maybe I am a bit too critical, your readers can decide. I do my best to get my hair and makeup right, and find fashionable outfits, and always with nice stockings and heels. I do make the occasional lingerie photo. I get lots of positive comments about my legs so I tend not to hide them.
What are some of your favorite outfits/fashions?
I am almost always in a short dress or a skirt with nice heels. I do like riding my motorcycle but can’t ride in a dress, and those are the only photos I have of me crossdressing in jeans. On the bike I will pair those tight jeans with a bustier, and feminine biker boots.
Stockings or pantyhose?
Definitely stockings, but I occasionally wear pantyhose. On the motorcycle the stockings never stay up no matter what I have tried. Sometimes I see a type of pantyhose in a pattern unavailable as stockings, for example an open-knit, little hearts or similar.
Heels or flats?
Heels. Always. Even my biker boots have six-inch heels.
Favorite places to go when dressed?
In the daytime I enjoy walking around a museum, or, if the weather is nice, maybe to an outdoor festival. In the evening I tend to go to clubs, parties or any social event. I also love the look of shock when I show up at a biker meet riding a Harley.
Go to accessories for a night out?
A matching flower clipped in my hair, some tasteful jewelry, and I do love a quality purse with a shoulder strap. If I am “Biker Chick” that day, I will wear a leather bustier, an arm cuff, and a chain hanging from my belt. I have both knee-high platform biker- boots and a pair with a shorter shaft for hot weather, both of which have six-inch heels.
Who is/are your female role model(s) and why?
I like Vintage stockings, and, I am German – so the natural choice would be German- speaking beauties like Marlene Dietrich, who emigrated to the USA and was publicly a staunch anti-Nazi/anti-Hitler, or Hedy Lamarr, a Jewish Austrian who emigrated to the USA and invented a few things, including systems to guide torpedos which were used by American forces. Both women were strong, gorgeous and intelligent. If we are speaking about whom I would like to look like- Margot Robbie (but wouldn’t we all like to look like her?).
Tell us some fun facts about yourself. What are your hobbies (either when dressed or not), likes, things you do in your spare time, or anything else you would like to share?
I am only a bit over 5’5” (165cm for the other readers) tall. It worked against me as a teen, but as a crossdresser – especially in heels – It’s an advantage. It’s not my career, but I have had some success working as a stand-up comic.
Any stories you would like to share about yourself and your journey?
One story that scared me but is now somewhat amusing: On one of my solo outings I was in a bar known to be what is called in German “Bunt Gemischt”, meaning a mixture of everything (hetero, bi, gay, transgender, etc. all under the same roof). I was definitely a bit nervous as this was one of the earlier times where I went out alone. A woman at the bar started speaking to me. After about 20 minutes, she seemed to recognize me, and I panicked. She knew where I worked, and my employer. I work in “male mode” and was sure I had now been discovered or “outed”. It then turned out that this woman was the man who shared my office and was also crossdressing. This was someone who had the desk next to me for several years. Neither of us knew the other was a crossdresser. When I asked how I was discovered, I was told that it was only because my voice and accent was distinct and recognizable.
If you have social media, what is the best way for others to follow you?
I am “Merrill von Deutschland” on Facebook. I am on a few smaller German-language sites but Facebook is the easiest to see most of my photos.
Before we go, would you like to send a message to your fellow girls out there or a closing statement.
Be brave, be strong and try not to worry about what other people might think. Among my biggest regrets in life is that I buried my desire to crossdress for decades, and it is now such a source of enjoyment. I wasted way too many years by hiding in the closet and I will never get those years back.
Would you like to share your story and become an Eye Candy Girl?
Let us know by emailing us at [email protected] or message us on our Facebook page. And be sure to check out more great tips and articles on our blog!